Tag: Therapeutic Talking

  • Silence

    + Question about talking about emotional issues. – July 08

    Dear John,
    Thank you for your wonderful newsletters they are
    so helpful.  I find your wellness detective agency
    idea novel and very useful.

    I have a particular patient with chronic fatigue
    and Fibromyalgia for 6 years.  She is in a lot of
    pain.  The cranio sacral treatment itself is going
    reasonably well but I feel she has emotional
    issues that make her condition worse.

    I have broached exploring the emotional causes of
    her condition with her but she becomes very
    defensive and then frustrated and then despairing.

    Do you have any suggestions on how to approach
    these issues with her.

    Thanks again.

    PM
    Perth.

    >>>MY COMMENTS:

    The secret weapon of cranio sacral therapy is
    silence.

    Personally, I can talk a lot about the other
    stuff.  Why the person might be sick and so on.
    I can talk about that stuff so much I wrote a book
    about it for crying out loud.

    But for some people talking can only make
    things worse.  They will usually have been sick
    for some time, like your patient, and will usually
    have seen quite a few other therapists.  They will
    have a number of theories crashing around in their
    heads as to why they are ill.  Ironically each new
    ‘helpful’ perspective you might offer can push
    them deeper into confusion rather than helping to
    clarify.

    That’s when silence really works. Just let them
    get on the table and begin your work.  You can
    chat with them but don’t initiate it or keep it
    going.  Eventually silence descends and in that
    silence and the depths of your work, changes will
    percolate to the surface from the depths of them.

    Over time deep changes will occur and no one
    will talk about it.  Sometimes if you are lucky
    they will tell you an insight they may have had
    and when they do it will usually have a deep ring
    of truth to it.